It’s not easy to get along with everyone. In fact, most of the time it’s impossible, but it’s important to at least try to be someone that people aren’t afraid to talk to. It really boils down to being able to understand that most people are concerned with their own lives and what they have going on. In order to get along with people you have to acknowledge this fact and use it to your advantage.

When you talk to someone try and turn the conversation to something that they have going on. Or just ask them what they have going on. “Any big plans this weekend?”, or “How old are your kids again? What’s that like?” I guarantee that the conversation will pick up pretty quickly. You have to REMEMBER these things though. That’s the hard part, but it comes with practice. That way you can come in on Monday and ask Jerry, “Hey, how was camping? Did you forget anything?” or “How was the birthday party did your daughter have fun? …. Did you?”

Having small conversations like this with people around you lets them know that you are actually interested in their lives and that you care how they’re doing. Being able to be consistent is the key. Give it about a month and you’ll probably the most likeable person in the office. People won’t WANT to be confrontational with you. Instead they’ll pull you aside if something is wrong and just talk to you about it. And if you are good at listening, you’ll either apologize for the specific problem or be able to explain your thought process to someone that is more receptive.

It also helps if you can remember everyone’s names. It’s not TOO hard to remember the people that you interact with every day, but for people that you might see 2 or 3 times a month it can be tricky. I’ve found that saying their name 3 times when you’re talking to them can help. Don’t be creepy about it though. If you are leaving the conversation instead of just saying “see you later” say “I’ll see you later Chris.” If you can’t seem to fit it in just try saying their name in your head a few times while you’re talking to them. It helps to have them in front of you when you’re trying to remember their name because it helps you associate it with their face. Remembering names is hard, but it goes a really long way.

So next time that you’re having a hard time getting along with your coworkers, or anyone for that matter, think about what THEY might be trying to get out of the conversation and see if you can steer the dialog that direction. I guarantee that the person you’re talking to will not only relax a little, but might actually get enthusiastic about the conversation. Plus, some people have some really interesting things to say that they don’t get a chance to talk about. Give them that chance and you’ll make friends, make your life easier, and learn some cool things along the way.